Tuesday, May 27, 2014
A change is coming to Our Spectrum
It has been so long I feel drained just looking at the date of my "real" last entry. I have missed being here so much it hurts. It's like coming home after a long vacation. The smell of piled up laundry on top of a mile long to do list, mixed with the remembrance of sandy beaches and an umbrella drink I can't even remember the name of.
Well, life has been many things for me lately and none of it came with a little umbrella. But, I'm here now and I have so much to share. I feel like a tea kettle that's been boiling for a few hours....days.
Let me start with complaining first. It's always good to clear the air and let it all out. My love bug Kaden is about to turn 5. And we have had struggles with him for a long time. I just pushed through and parented the best I could. I never said a word about his behavior, just kept loving him. And after a season of watching the show Parenthood I secretly thought to myself I wonder if Kaden has Aspergers. This new season started and Kaden became more Kaden and I knew I needed to say something. I talked with friends first and they all gave me the line, "he's 4 years old". Yeah, a 4 year old that has been reading since he was 2, has an obsession with numbers and self taught himself multiplication by the time he was 4. Not to mention the amazing vocabulary and need for organization that he can not even enjoy himself. The violent rages bring the whole family to tears, loud noises bring him to tears. The constant counting and lack of expression from him has worn me thin. No one sees this because I keep it to myself, I've never shared it even here in blogland. Everyone thinks I'm lucky because he's so smart and advanced. But, with that is a great responsibility that makes our family exhausted.
My hardest part of the day is keeping him from getting so angry or upset that he hurts himself. And keeping his brain challenged. He reads 2nd and 3rd grade books and wants to learn division. But, the problem is his maturity level. Just because he can explain to me what enursha is and his favorite number is infinity, he is only 4 years old.
Back to the point, I talked with Thanh and he thought I was crazy, that he was just smart and a typical boy. So, I decided to take it up with the pediatrician. He told me I should have told him a long time ago, not to question my judgment. So, tomorrow we are going to a specialist. My friends still think I'm crazy, but I have Thanh on board with me after spending 2 weeks at home over the Holidays. He got to see first hand what it was like homeschooling 3 kids with our Sweet Kaden.
I love him so much, I just want to give him the best start in life. I need to learn how to discipline him without causing him to downward spiral. I want to know how to teach him how to thrive in life with this small speed bump.
I have been searching online for helpful websites. And what has got me aggravated is how many sites took you to books to buy or websites you have to pay for for support and advice or discussion boards. I was disappointed, because I'm desperate for help and in need of answers.
Tomorrow I will have a new start, a new start for Kaden. It's been a long, lonely road and I have a feeling it will still be long in our future, but not so lonely.